F@*% Balance

Balance - the pinnacle, ever elusive, key to a happy, healthy life. We read about work-life balance. We joke about sprinkling cupcakes in between our daily salads. We treat balance like it’s this place we can get to, a space in which we are structured but flexible, productive yet restored, in sustainable perpetuity.

We look for, strive towards and celebrate the eventual attainment of balance in our bodies, our minds, and our relationships with others. 

Balance.  

It just sounds good. Neat. Clean. 

But I don’t care how long you can hold warrior three, life just isn’t that neat and clean. 

Here’s the problem with balance. It implies symmetry. To achieve balance things must have equal weight. But in our bodies and our calendars, we are rarely symmetric. And we don’t need to be. Our bodies aren’t even symmetric, not really. Our heart doesn’t pump out both sides. Most of us aren’t ambidextrous, favoring right or left hands. 

Balance is singular. Typically we think of balance as existing between two areas of our life. We balance clean eating with reward or cheat meals. We balance cardio with strength. We balance work trips with field trips. But I don’t know a single person who has only two areas of their lives in need of balancing. I do know quite a few folks whose lives are more like spinning plates while juggling glass balls in a hurricane. 

Balance is conflict - balance and counterbalance mean the same thing. The word implies that something needs to be countered by something else, as if life is a ledger of assets and liabilities. Too much work isn’t rectified with too much work. I don’t balance my friendships against my family. It’s not an either/or - one versus another. 

Balance is static. You achieve balance, and if you try hard enough you stay there. But life is anything but static. It’s constantly shifting, changing, and growing - because we are shifting, changing, and growing. Our priorities evolve over the years, along with our energies and responsibilities. It’s only right that our schedules and our habits reflect that. 

So maybe balance isn’t the goal at all, unless you want life in two dimensions, locked in a perfect symmetry. Maybe the goal should be something messier, richer, and with more movement. Maybe instead of balance, we go for harmony. 

Harmony pulls in more than two dimensions. Harmony doesn’t allocate equal resources to each component, but rather gives space according to individual needs. Likewise, each bit and piece contributes something unique and altogether differently weighted to the piece. A life in harmony is moving, moving us forward. Sometimes this harmony is led by challenging and invigorating work projects, other times by family demands and desires. Sometimes we pull back on logging miles to allow space for a crescendo of social connections, only to refocus and recenter those goals later in the year. 

Harmony is the graduate-level of balance, requiring persistent attention, honest introspection, and constant course correction. It’s stillness followed by frenzy. It’s the rises and falls of a long run, the ebbs and flows of our life. It is hard work. It is play, and it is rest. And when done right, each part gives what they can and takes what it needs and the music becomes sustainable, enduring, and pure harmony.